I'm stretched to the max and silently scream, "Enough!" but start every day as I did the day before. The expectations and challenges are primarily self-inflicted because the promise is He will never give me more than I can handle, and because of my faith in Him, I am here.
I strive to be good at what I do, but my inner dialogue tells me to be the best or not try. I challenge myself to get healthy and lack the willpower to say no to a donut. I am a merry-go-round of contradictions.
I chastise myself, but I know I have it better than some and not as good as others. I count my blessings, knowing I have what I need, but I want more than I can afford, which is less than most.
I feel wild by day but sleep as soundly as a kitten. I am driven to try new things but need more confidence to continue them. I have faith but repeat the sinner's prayer. I enjoy those around me but miss the ones I once entertained.
I am older, a little wiser, and hungry. Man, am I hungry! I am a hot mess, but I am fun! I laugh hard and work even harder. I am a gypsy soul. I wander through this world, convinced I am interfering, so I keep to myself. It takes pursuing me to catch me. I believe you need me rather than want me, and it would take faith to convince me otherwise.
It's who I am.