I was 32 years old when I used vocabulary like cancer, divorce, single parent, unemployment, and foreclosure to describe my situation. Within three months, I became a list of statistics facing several of life's toughest challenges with only a chance of survival. Faith and prayer were my answers, and I became painfully aware of how much I relied on both.
I set my focus on healing, but days became weeks, and weeks became months before I crashed under fatigue, doubt, responsibility, and fear. My future looked grim as I finalized the divorce, prepared to relocate 1700 miles away, interviewed for a new career, avoided foreclosure, and cared for two children while undergoing radiation five days a week and chemotherapy on Fridays.
My faith had waned when I hit my knees and asked God to show me in the form of a dragonfly, a symbol of change and transformation, that I would live. And I waited just as I imagined doubting Thomas did in the bible. When God's answer came, it would be at my weakest moment, and He would graciously send it on a dragonfly's wing.
While walking with my children through a grassy field, dragonflies encircled me. There were hundreds of them, all black and beautiful. I stopped and watched them land all over me, and it was then I knew I would live. But I also was convicted of making a change. God revealed that I was not living my life as if I believed He would heal me but as if I had already lost the battle.
Right there and then, I bowed my head and asked for forgiveness. As I prayed, I wept with thanksgiving and turned my focus to God's amazing grace as I listened to His whispers on the wings of the dragonflies.
There is not a day I do not want to share my story, my testimony of survival, opportunity, and purpose—a testimony of how I experienced and was witness to God's agape love. Faith and prayer, indeed, were the answer.
✍🏻 Shana Marie
📍 Weston, Wyoming
📸 June 5, 2021